Let’s start with: What the hell does that title mean? I’m not sure. But I started with “An Awareness of Space” and realized it wasn’t working. I’m being a bit metacognative about this and needed to changes something, so there it is. Complete in my mind.

Some ideas stick with you over time. One I consistently enjoy is from a subject in education. Someone (I don’t remember if it was an artist or psychologist) drew some images of a person’s vision of their own body over time. As an example, a newborn would be very aware of hands and mouth but have very little idea of their legs or feet. So, if you drew a child based on their awareness, they would have massive heads, arms and hands and very small torsos and nearly non-existent legs and feet.

Moving forward ten years would get you a very different shape. One more balanced and in line with actual body part dimensions. Yet, they might have little or no awareness of gender specific body parts. Move forward another ten years and you see a fully fleshed out human with most subjects. Yet, individuals who are primarily cranial about their approach to life or athletes who leave little time for education might appear with their body awareness skewed a bit.

Agree with it or don’t, it is an interesting view and creates some interesting thoughts to stumble through.

Here, in a new city, I find myself interested in how I view my surrounding territory and how some portions are “larger” in my mind than others. Let’s look at it a bit as I have developed to where I am now.

Toronto wasn’t completely new to me when we moved here. Having two other visits gave me a certain awareness which remained with me upon the move. Mostly, this was a very small awareness of Yonge Street and the waterfront. Though some of the memories are still not pinned to my mental map as accurately as they are in the reality that is Toronto.

Also, we had visited the Danforth region (Greektown) as well as the area around Finch and Yonge and the area around Shepherd and Yonge with our realtor on our spring visit. But I didn’t drive the distances and you can always get turned around hopping on/off highways as we did.

Driving up had a benefit. Upon arriving, I now had a tether to the states. Not a virtual link created by looking at an almanac or by seeing the land roll by through an airplane window. But a real sentience of the terrain and features from Niagara Falls to here (and a further awareness of Richmond to here). A new path cutting through the fog of uncertainty most unvisited places retain until you stand in them on your own two feet.

We started venturing from the apartment in short bursts. Every block full of information, people, smells and sounds you find in any city. And we attempt to take them in all at once. So a single block of city can seem like a very long distance. The same block, the 10th time you travel it, seems like the 97 steps it takes to walk the length.

But walk we did. And take the subway and meet our realtor to look at homes. Slowly, the city opened up. You start to get an impression of where things lie. Let’s take a look at a few directions:

West: Queen, Richmond and King all run into Spadina. There are restaurants on all three though more on King and Queen. Spadina is the edge of my knowledge on all but Queen. I did walk several blocks past on Queen just to see what is there. I have a vague notion and, in my head, it is a very small line which withers out once past Spadina.

Going north on Spadina takes you to one of the China towns in Toronto. I know that area well because I have walked it several times (mostly to get cakes from the Fukarama (I think that is how it is spelled) cake place and plan many more sojourns before we move) and can picture the blocks out up and back very well.

Some of the blocks stand out very well. As does the block between our place and the book store and theater. Only two blocks, I can close my eyes and envision most every building. Same goes for going up to Queen and west for one short block. There is a store there which has groceries and movies and I have visited it many times.

Yet, while both of those routes are very clear in my mind. Strong tendrils with high quality rendering. I cannot envision the streets which connect them very well since I have only walked it a few times and do not have a clear memory.

South: This direction takes us to the waterfront and Loblaw’s, the big grocery store. Ana and I have walked University to York to the waterfront several times and taken alternative paths on multiple occasions. As a result, I have a decently developed tendril of University to York and some memories of Spadina, Yonge and Jarvis to the waterfront as well. But my strongest impression is of the waterfront. While the memory of getting there is limited, I can easily envision most of the waterfront from Spadina to Jarvis very well having driven it and walked it on several occasions, some of the dating back to November. Added to that the great scenery, which increases the chance of impression, and we can understand why.

East: This is the trickiest. I’ve been east on several occasions, but only once to most places and no more than three times to any single place. The strongest tendril is Queen east of Yonge for about 7 blocks. That was where I had my windshield replaced and had plenty of time to walk from the shop to my home and back in the afternoon, plus driving both twice.

The other locations are limited. I’ve driven out Front, but only as far as Jarvis. And I’ve been driven out and then up to the Danforth multiple times. As a result, as clear as the blocks near the house are clear to me, the region to the east is patchy and disoriented. I can picture areas but, like blurry puzzle pieces, I can’t tell you how they arrange yet. I only have some idea of what might be north or east or south of what. Fortunately I haven’t been far East or I would also be mixed up on what is east or west of what as well.

North: This is where things get very interesting. Most of our northern travel has been on Yonge and a majority of that has been on the subway. Fortunately, we did take a drive a few weekends ago and, by making a circular tour, have a better impression of the layout of the city. But the popping in and out of subway terminals takes away much of the scope. You have very clear impressions of areas and where they are on the north/south corridor, but not of how far apart they are by foot.

In fact, I’m still struggling as to where the individual subway stops are (in my defense, I’ve been on that route less than 20 times) and how far apart they are. You can use the subway intervals as a general rule, but there have been multiple occasions where the subway has slowed down or stopped and this throws off your perception until you ride it on a regular basis. Ana, having used the subway every day for weeks now, can probably do a much better job than I of envisioning this corridor but couldn’t describe the areas near the apartment as well.

In my head: What? Why are you here? Oh, I invited you. That’s right. Well, let’s see what this looks like.

As you can see (no, there isn’t a picture, I’m speaking figuratively), there is something resembling a spider web. But the angles are mostly square and some webs are much thicker than others. The development is splotchy as well. Near the waterfront (that is where the web ends at the bottom of the page) there is a single thick line which runs to the left and doesn’t seem to end. That takes us around the lake to NY.

And there is a crosshatching of strands above it. The think ones running north are Jarvis, Yonge and York (east to west). They intersect with King, Adelaide, Richmond and Queen going north. The strange one, which kind of dips through and then runs off the map, is Front to the east and University to the north.

Each of those intersect with Spadina to the west and an unknown road to the east. This road leads us up to another well defined area, broken down like a quadrant map, which is the intersection of Danforth and Pape. Please note how quickly it fades off in each direction. And the tenuous line running west from Danforth to Yonge is mostly the subway as I have not yet travelled that line fully above ground.

The strong lines running north seems to fail, don’t they? The strongest is Yonge and it ends around Summerhill. University is similar and fails at DuPont. Why? That’s the Canadian Tire location where I had my truck inspected. I have driven it twice going up on Yonge and back on Avenue/University.

Then follow the faded line north. That, again, is the subway. It intersects with Shepherd, where a line runs to the east. Part of our tour of Toronto in the truck. And see how well developed that is. We’ve spent some time around Shepherd. And Eglinton as well. That’s the little dot just south of there.

Then, one more area just north. It is composed of two strong primary dots. The lower one is North York Centre and the furthest north is Finch. And currently works at Finch and will be moving, with the business, to the other. Also, the hotel we stayed at in March is located at the North York Centre location. There are webs around it. Those would be the neighborhoods we have driven/walked while looking for a home.

And finally, see that one last tendril running north of the 401 on Yonge? That would be up to our realtor’s office and then, just one single trip, up to see a mortgage broker.

How strange and fragile a thing it is. And it will grow over the years. In leaps and spurts it will begin to fill in. If I remember, I should redo this on a yearly basis. Not so much to see what I’ve seen, but to see what I haven’t and make a purpose to visit those locations to find what hidden gems they might possess.

Hotel Rwanda

It is a very easy thing to say, at the end of a powerful movie, that it was the ‘best’ movie you have ever seen. In that moment, the emotions are powerful, the memories fresh and the sentiments still echoing in your mind. Yet, with time, those beliefs often diminish and timely perspective helps you rearrange the films you have watched into a more logical priority.

Hotel Rwanda is the best movie I have ever seen. Mind you, I’m not saying it is the most enjoyable movie I have ever watched. Quite the opposite in fact. This was the most painful movie I have ever watched. Nearly the entire film was a heart and gut wrenching mass of emotion.

That fact makes me comfortable saying it was the best movie I’ve ever watched. Honestly, if a movie makes you that uncomfortable and you still respond with praise, it must be an amazing film.

Now, I won’t bore you to death with a long series of reasons to see the film. Instead, I will only include the top few.

Reason one: Paul Rusesabagina is the most intelligent character ever portrayed

Let’s start with Paul Rusesabagina’s (played by Don Cheadle) role in the movie. I’m not certain how close to the truth the movie reflected this man’s talent. If it is only half accurate, this gentleman is brilliant. His efforts alone speak highly of him, but his ability to see through the political climate, to make hard and painful choices and to not only survive, but to put so much on the line (his life and, more importantly, his wife and children’s lives) to save so many makes him one of the finest people this planet has ever created.

Reason two: Get out of your comfort zone

It is very easy to complain about our circumstances. I, for example, have recently complained about being hungry and not having slept well. At the time, I may have ranked those discomforts a bit higher than, oh, 1 on a scale of 10. After watching this movie, I may possess, for a limited time, the ability to objectify life’s little difficulties as exactly that: little. Compared to the fear, lack of life’s basics and losing relatives while not knowing if they could even be alive, my issues were negligible at best.

That type of objectivity can only come when someone steps or is taken out of their comfort zone for even a small amount of time. There have only been a few other moments in life, none of them mediated, that have caused that type of objectivity. One, as an example, was seeing and being aware of the plight of the retired elderly in Romania (not to pick on Romania, my wife’s home country, as most developing countries suffer the same support failures over time and the U.S. isn’t free of such sins) when I walked through the subway and ran face to face with elderly women begging in the subway. Not begging as we often see in North America (have to broaden my concept of PLACE now that I reside in Canada), where we see fairly able-bodied people, some youths, asking for money rather than taking jobs. But people who, to the naked eye, are obviously in failing health, lacking adequate healthcare, basic shelter and nutrition.

Kind of amazing that a movie could bring about that level of awareness, eh? So, yes, it was a good movie.

Reason three: Excellent direction

When I studied instructional technology in grad school, one basic rule has stood with me over time: good design does not stand out and should not bring notice to itself. This movie is a cinematic achievement of that basic principal. The direction was basic, allowing the story to unfold through conversation (I do not recall any narrative in the film) and action. No CG, no green screen. No unnecessary gore or violence (though there is plenty of that). Only the core aspects of a story worth bringing to the big screen.

I could go on about the script, the individual actors and the political motivation to bring such a story to the Western populace. But I won’t. This movie will drag you in, educate you on the horrors of what this world can dish out and allow you to return to your own world with a better understanding of what you do have and the ability to respect it a bit more.

if:book: blogging restructures consciousness?
So, is it just me, or does this bit of text (not all of it, just the scary part) make you want to stop blogging?

“After two and a half years of virtually non-stop blogging, my perception of myself as a distinct individual has dramatically waned. My interior monologue has virtually disappeared. I no longer have aesthetic-based epiphanies, and I almost never concern myself with examining internal passions or emotions anymore. Blogging has not just changed the activities in which I engage–the activities in which I engage in order to be a successful blogger have profoundly altered the way my mind operates and the way I conceptualize my agency in relation to others. In effect, I do not exist in the same way I once existed.”

Don’t think it will make me stop blogging.  And I do agree with what this individual says.  It will change and restructure your thinking process.  But, I don’t really want to give up “my perception of myself as a distinct individual” any more than I want to give up my nose.  Yet, I think it can help us to look back over time.  When I started my first blog, it was purely to keep track of the incoming bits of flotsam and jetsam that was influencing my “self” as it is.  That blog didn’t work.  Not enough time at that point (and Wordpress wasn’t as well developed; didn’t need more tech stuff to take care of on my own time) to do it properly.

I’ll keep this in mind and try to write something on it as time progresses.  The entire article is a good read, but I haven’t the time to discuss it further tonight.

Today’s European Union is 27 states in search of a story

I’m a huge fan of the EU.  Not only because my wife is now European (with Romania as one of the two newest states), but because of the idea of national synergy.  Unity, it seems, is better than individuality.  Especially in this age of global market economies, global travel and, erm…global warming.  The member states are facing a future in which they will be able to cash in on the tourism and old world ethics which once seeded the success of the American dream (before it was McCoopted by some scary-ass commercialism).

With China, and much of the rest of Asia, rising, there will be some heated trends in which the West attempts to maintain some form of global integrity.  The EU, with an eye on the benefits of pulling together to create something greater, is a counter to America’s current philosophy of unilateral globalism.  If we’re lucky, America’s next regime change (yeah, I’m breaking politic), will go back to embracing this same vision.

Meanwhile, the EU can begin to trade in on the great variety of strengths included among the member states.  This variety includes Britain’s global reach, Germany’s productivity, northern Europe’s commitment to environmental integrity and a new source of inexpensive labor among newer communities commited to proving their value of their membership and creating a better future for their children.  Nationalism be damned, if this grand social experiment can remain stable and pick up some momentum, the next 25 years could signficantly change the face of politics for the remainder of this century.